Friday, August 17, 2007

The Dream Is Over

I had the oddest dream this morning. I dreamed that PETA were going around picketing chippys because they sold meat and that I was absolutely gagging for a cheeseburger. I was driving all around the place and no matter where I went there was a bunch of crusties blocking the burger joints.

So I went home and found a cat (dunno where), videoed myself putting it in a microwave and put it on YouTube with an announcement that all chippy-pickets had to end within 24 hours or I was going to microwave the cat live on the 'net.

This worked for me on two levels - cos I absolutely despise cats and I ain't too keen on hippies either. Anyway, after going on TV to issue death threats against me like a bunch of nutjob jihadists, then seeing me scoff in response and microwave a goldfish in its bowl as a warning, they backed down! And I was cheered by massive crowds as I went to my local burger joint for the best cheeseburger of all time.

The only reason I shared that is that, by pure coincidence, Frank McNally in today's Irishman's Diary, writing about buying a house, included the line 'Did I mention the microwave? The main risk here is that an infant will take something out while it's hot. But left unsupervised, a child may also experiment by inserting unsuitable food items - the family pet, perhaps - and pressing "defrost".' complete with a picture of a cat in a microwave!

So now!!
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