Monday, November 07, 2005

Eye Of The Tiger

Slight diversion from my usual, super-stretched, Clash/U2-inspired title; but warranted having spent the weekend in the home of odd, bitter-tasting cream cheese advertised by odd, ... er... women.

For anyone who has never seen Rocky's marathon early-morning training-run around Philadelphia, this is the view down Franklin Parkway from the top of the steps up to the Art Museum, which I legged it up - Rocky-esque - not a bother on me.

I really liked Philly, although having someone who knows their way around is, obviously, always a huge plus (Dermo, 'twas a ball - all knots will be untied by next time).

I'm NFL-ing again tonight. This time it's the New England Patriots at home to the Indianapolis Colts (biiiig game). Myself and Lenny are going tail-gating with fellas from work. Tail-gating here obviously doesn't mean Cork rednecks driving up your hole in an SUV. It is, in fact, a car park bbq/piss-up that a lot of the fans have before the game. It seems to be a bit of an institution. I said the drink-driving here was pretty crazy didn't I? Well there's even Budweiser sponsored designated driver reward schemes onsite! Anyway, seeing as I'm still in ribbons from whatever it was I ate, I'll be driving and sticking to milky/watery coffee.

While I'm at it this little story brought a... smile to my... face.

You'll have noticed that Lenny has not got much of a mention lately. I'm still hacked off but, unfortunately, the instances of complete clownoscopy are being replaced by constant gnawing irritants that, if shared here, will just make me look like the bitch I quite probably am.
So here goes. Lenny's talk is just plain irritating. It's all dull noises and pregnant pauses: "awww...", followed by loads of filler words per sentence: "y'know... awww... d'y'know what I mean, like." Then there's no such thing as an off-the-cuff statement with him. So even if you make a throwaway remark, he'll sit there ("awww...") as if some kind of complex calculation is being carried out by the mice in the wheel where his brain should be, before saying: "I don't get yee, how d'y'mean, like?"
Everything gets some ridiculous tag as well. People are 'characters' (or 'kyarrr-accc-terrrrs') regardless of context. Things like the golf-clubs are 'these babies'. A fella's flash BMW became 'this puppy'. Anything judged to be not-shit is 'cracker' (or 'kraaaackerrrr') and something that puts him in good form is 'legend'. Going to bed is 'hitting the cot' and anything out of the ordinary is 'one of those oddball types'. I feel like head-butting the nearest wall.
Anyway the weird thing is not the talk but the typing. The guy actually writes emails and text messages like he talks. Example: a text message to me in Philadelphia Airport, from he in Buffalo airport; from his personal mobile to my personal mobile...
"Alright, man. How are you doing man?... this is Lenny here... All has been cracker here in Buffalo you know. Legend night last night - Buffalo characters are real Americans do you know. How was Philly there man?... Any action with the fillies? ha ha ha... Eh my flight has been delayed by a storm do you know. Odd ball situation. I won't be in Hartford until near midnight. OK then? Cheers, man... Lenny."
What a way to give me good news. So last night an act of nature left me stuck in a closed airport waiting for a delayed flight to arrive from Buffalo 'til midnight. I can't blame Lenny for that but I can blame him for bugging the crap out of me in general.
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