Tuesday, January 25, 2005

America, Fuck Yeah!

Team America is CLASS! Saw it last night (my first trip to the flicks in about three years) and I'm still smiling. It has got to be seen. Trey Parker is a comedy genius - who said Americans can't do satire (well, I did, regularly, but I'll concede that some can).

What a shame Gary Johnston hasn't been given a best actor nominee. Any Broadway actor that can convince Islamic terrorists that he is one of them...

"I was just a boy when the infidels came in their black hawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the firey black liquid death. In the midst of the chaos I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help. As quickly as they had come the infidels were gone. It was on that day I put a jihad on them. And if you don't believe it you better kill me now cause I'll put a jihad on you."

just HAS to win a gong, if only to give this speech to the world again...

"We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck a asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are a inch and half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this. If you don't let us fuck this asshole we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit."
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